Friday, March 31, 2006

BREADSTICKS OF THE WEEK! MAR. 31, 2006

LEWIS!! Click here for the most fabulous cat ever! He's a ninja warrior in puffy, white bloomers.

This cat operates like a stealth bomber on a mission: kill all Avon ladies, kill them dead!! Yes, he looks innocent, but as soon as your back is turned-watch out! Lewis will leap through the air and onto your leg with a deadly precision, starting an onslaught of scratching and biting (just like a spoiled, suburban kid at the mall.)

He may sound bitchy, but I know he is just playing, right? I just know he wouldn't attack me if I tried to give him a kiss.............................

Friday, March 24, 2006

BREADSTICKS OF THE WEEK! MAR. 24, 2006

It's been a long week. My ears are hurting. Someone is, literally, screaming from the hallway into an office next to mine (see below post, and, yes, it is now 2 days later and no, no one has learned to STFU.) It is supposed to be spring, yet it is snowing and 34 degrees. So, I am now hiding myself undercover where it is quiet and warm until my head stops ringing and my breadsticks unfreeze.
Goodnight and happy weekend.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Wednesday annoyance: shut up!

For me, there is nothing more irritating than people violating my personal space. I think it's so fucking rude and I try hard not to do it to others. Which is why I don't understand why some people do it quite frequently.

There are many ways to infringe upon the space of others. I have already mentioned people who drive slow in the fast lane, thus blocking others from driving. Another way (one that is currently happening about 2 feet away from me) is when people stand outside your door/cube and talk. Can you imagine doing this to someone? When this happens, anything I may be doing will, necessarily, be distracted by the loud babbling going on (pretty much) right in my face. Isn't it common sense that you do not have conversations not related to a person when that person is in close proximity? Right?

To make matters worse, invariably, these loud, hallway talkers enjoy having their rude conversations smack, dab in the center of said hallways. They do not take their routines to the right or left side of the hall (be it work, grocery store, school, etc.) Oh, no, they prefer you to squeeze by, no matter how tight the space. If that doesn't work, you will be forced to say, "excuse me!" (excuse you) because, 9 times out of 10, they haven't noticed your big head right in their faces until you actually say something! Why would they notice little, old you when they, themselves are so endlessly fascinating?

This reminds me of my last night (and last weekend) rudeness at home. I have new next door neighbors (man, woman, child-screaming, baby child) who speak at the top of their lungs in the hallway. Their talking is clearly audible in my apartment, and even woke up my cats on several occasions, causing them to stalk the door (they were even annoyed!) I don't want to hear this shit when I'm trying to read, or write, or do anything that requires concentration.

Furthermore, I know their loud shouts are not meant for me or my other neighbors to answer because they are speaking in Hindi. So, why is it necessary to stand outside an apartment door and shout to the person inside? Along the same vein, why is it necessary to let your child scream outside my door? Do they not THINK this might annoy someone?

Really, why must Americans be so fucking LOUD anyway??? Sometimes I feel like my ears are being assaulted. Everywhere I go I get loud TVs, loud voices, loud music, idiots screaming in their cells, screaming brats (whose parents let them run free and express their annoying selves.)

I think we all need to shut the fuck up for a minute and listen. Maybe then people will finally figure out that they are so insignificant and meaningless that NO ONE wants to hear what they have to say in the first place!

Friday, March 17, 2006

BREADSTICKS OF THE WEEK! MAR. 17, 2006




And, well you should be scared you dirty, filthy, Brit! Today is Patty's Day and this pattycat wins BOTW sticks down! Go home with your wimpy, weak sticks or I'll use my breadsticks like shillelaghs and smash your little head in!


Thursday, March 16, 2006

e.e. cattings

(i do not know what it is about you that crosses
and twists; until upon my arm i feel the pricks
the voice of your meow is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even a rat, has such small sticks

Friday, March 10, 2006

BREADSTICKS OF THE WEEK! MAR. 10, 2006

"Hiiiiii, I'm over heeere...how are youuuuuu...hellooooo.HELLOOOOOO!"

I tried just now, I really did, but I have been so obsessed with real life details the past few days, that I'm not connecting to my imagination at all....Still, the show must go on, alors.
But, you know, I love this picture. I find the pose very unique and chilled out. Regardless of my having a stone for a brain today, this pic doesn't really require any extra commentary anyway.
So, make up your own funny phrases, and you can even post them in the comments (novel idea!)
Just please be sure to notice the white armpit hair, and how very funny it is!

(Thanks again, Stephanie!)

Friday, March 03, 2006

Are Your Cats Old Enough to Learn About Jesus?

I was alerted to this from mycathatesyou.com (link) & here is the original link: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45814.

Hands down, the funniest thing I have ever read!

BREADSTICKS OF THE WEEK! MAR. 03, 2006

Remember sweet, baby Stanley? (If not, click here.) Well, you knew a beauty like that wouldn't stay single for long: He found a gorgeous baby much like himself, with soft, beautiful, black hair and sexy, shapely breadsticks!
Sigh, Stanley is so lucky--wish I were that fortunate in love!

My favorite newsboy!


Poor David Gregory. He acts his giggly, goofy and flirty self and gets accused of being a drunk! (click here) Don't they all know this is his natural, bubbly personality?
I just can't get enough David. He's like a cuddly monchichi with great clothes. Plus, he told off the Bush press secretary and sounded so adorable in the process!
He's so giddy that, when subbing for Matt Lauer on the Today show, he and Katie titter and gossip like schoolgirls. Then we get to watch as Katie pulls her "straight" face and tries to come off as all business as she avoids making eye contact with DG so as not to explode into uncontrollable laughter.
Those lucky days when I switch on Today and see him, first thing in the morning, smiling back at me, I don't need a weather report- I know my day will be sunny!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

MID WEEK PICK (STICK) ME UPS

HOT!
HOTT!
And HOTTT!
( Thanks to Stephanie for these catnip-induced pics!)